Mind Games (Brian)

[WILLIAM MARTIN EDELMAN]

They had just started their production of Hamlet tonight. Will had the title role and had just barely managed to convince the director to let him keep his facial hair for it. After all, most Shakespearean scholars tended to agree that Hamlet was around thirty, not the younger man that others liked to believe he was. He had performed flawlessly, as usual, tonight because, as soon as he stepped onto the stage, he forgot about all of the problems in his reality.

His biggest problem right now was a man named Brian Epstein. It had only been a couple of weeks ago that the two of them had enjoyed their time with each other in Will's dressing room. Every since that night, Will almost expected at any moment to be confronted by Brian behind the stage again but his ex never showed up. Will was grateful for that. It gave him plenty of time to realize what a fool he had been that night. So much for being an adult who could handle a one-night stand...Sex wasn't a frivolous act with Will; he only slept with those he loved...Wait...did he love Brian?

That was a hard question to answer. He had loved Brian once upon a time--or at least he thought he had. He was just a young twenty-year-old bloke when they had been together and didn't know what love felt like. Maybe he had been getting lust and love confused with each other all of those years ago. He could certainly say that he cared for Brian and always would care for him. But he never offered himself up so fully to those he just cared about. Will didn't know what he felt for Brian and that was his biggest conundrum.

He had his radio on as he began driving home but, being his usual self, Will wasn't paying attention to a single thing that was playing. That is, until the DJ said something about the biggest new hit by the Beatles. Wasn't that the band Brian managed? Will quickly turned the station and turned the volume down. Brian was the last person he wanted to be thinking about right now. The older man would only be too gleeful to know just how much of Will's free time in the past two weeks had been spent thinking of him.

Will kept his eyes fixed firmly on the road and decided to start counting the cars he saw parked on the side of the road. Maybe that would keep his mind from straying to other places. He was only up to seven when he spotted a familiar figure standing by his apparently broken down car. It would have been an easy matter to step on the gas and breeze on by Brian but the man looked frustrated and Will wasn't that kind of a guy. This was another chance for him to prove that he could handle things like the adult that he was, although that first time hadn't gone so well.

There was just room enough to park behind Brian's car and that is where he did pull off to the side. He pulled down the passenger side window and asked, "Where are you headed?" He would drop Brian off and that would be that. Nothing more, nothing less. Will could do this.

[BRIAN SAMUEL EPSTEIN]

Just because Brian Epstein spent most of his time amongst the wily group that was the Beatles didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate the theatre. To the contrary. Opera, Symphony, Ballet, Shakespeare: Brian adored it all. This probably stemmed from the fact that he had desired to be an actor himself growing up. And though it had been something that he enjoyed he never quite found his voice, prone to nerves (ironically) when portraying someone else, and besides though he could have ended up good he would never be the best and that was something you needed to be to survive in the business. The best. And Will was definitely one of the best that much was clear as Brian watched yet another one of his fling's performances unfold.

He was brilliant. He always was brilliant though this wasn't something Brian would often openly disclose to the source of the talent. He didn't even do that with his Beatle boys he certainly wasn't going to do it with someone he was sleeping with. Strangely enough Brian tended to put more emphasis on the people he worked with than those he shared a bed with. That was just in his personality to feel a stronger connection to success than something as intangible as love. He doubted that he could even feel such an emotion anyhow. Certainly not for a person. That wasn't to say that he hadn't enjoyed their little escapade, in fact he would have very much desired an encore, but he knew it wasn't something to be pressed so immediately after the show he decided to drive himself back home. Oh if only life could have been as easy.

In the middle of listening to another one of his precious boys' demo tapes he felt his care shudder, spout, hiss, and then completely give out. Slamming his fists down on the wheel he cursed under his breath. It seemed that Epstein wasn't the only one getting old around here. Horribly frustrated he climbed out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut. Great. Just bloody great. It was during the time that he actually pondered the dreaded act of the walk of shame that someone pulled up.. And that someone was someone he recognized and VERY well.

"My flat." He stated simply with his cocky little smile as he turned to face Will ironically appearing quite sure of himself despite his inner doubts. Leaning his back against the broken down car he crossed his suit clad arms over his chest only after adjusting his tie. "You remember where that is don't you? Quite well I imagine." Another cheeky smile reserved for intimate one on one encounters, something he was becoming more and more confident with especially with all of his time spent with the ringleader John Lennon.

"Heading my way?"

[WILLIAM MARTIN EDELMAN]

That smile looked like nothing but danger to Will. Will made a mental note to himself to remain on his guard because this was going to be nothing more than a courteous car ride home for Brian. If the manager tried to turn it into anything else, then Will would do everything in his power to avoid seeing Brian ever again. He couldn't afford to get involved with Brian again. Will was living his own life now--his own successful life. He didn't need someone in his life who was only interested in the odd shag every now and then.

Heading to Brian's flat was going to be out of Will's way but he wasn't going to mention that. He didn't want Brian to know that his helpful nature was winning out over his side that was always wary when he was around Brian. "As a matter of fact, I am," he answered. "Come on in, Brian." Friendly. That was what Will was trying to be right now. He was an actor; it shouldn't be that hard for him to pretend that things were never awkward for him when he was around Brian.

And yet it was the hardest thing in the world to do. Every time he was around the other man it was like he reverted back to his twenty-year-old self. He forgot about all of the lies Brian had told him. He forgot about how awful it felt when Brian just disappeared on him for eight years. Why his brain refused to remember the past whenever he was around Brian would forever remain a mystery to him.

As soon as Brian was in the car, Will pulled back out onto the street. He fiddled with the volume control of the radio, turning it up a bit to try and avoid any idle conversation that Brian might try to make. A ten minute car ride--that was all this was going to be. He'd let Brian out, say goodnight, and then drive off back to his own flat. But Will had the strange feeling that that wasn't going to be happening; things rarely went as he planned when he was around Brian.

[BRIAN SAMUEL EPSTEIN]

While Will wished to avoid such an encounter, and rightly so all things considered, Brian couldn't wait to pick up right where they had left off. No not at the part where Will was yelling all upset (which he had the right to be given how Brian had used him throughout most of the years of the young man's adult life) but at the part where they were naked and enjoying in each other's company. And, truth be told, if Brian didn't get it from Will he would damn well get it from somebody else. All because he couldn't get it from the one person he wanted to more than anything: One of the boys that he represented. Perhaps in more ways than he would ever admit, and Brian would never admit to any wrongs EVER, he was more like Will than anyone could ever know. Even young William.

"Wonderful. Then it all works out." Brian smiled not even awaiting the full alright before he helped himself to opening the door of Will's vehicle and slid inside. "And to think I thought I would be at the side of the road like some sort of desperate trollop." Closing the door he went about immediately strapping on his seatbelt, saftey was important afterall, and then dared to look William's direction rather boldly. "I'm not really the trollop type. Plus the night's venture would ruin my suit." He oozed raising his brow in a hinting fashion toward his entertainment for the evening.

"Awful sweet of you to do this Will. Bloody decent." He said hurriedly with a quick nod before glancing down at his lap and proceeding to habitually smooth out his black pantlegs. "Almost as decent as your performance tonight. Well done." It was only then that he looked up but this time out of the front window as though he was bored. He knew damn well what he was doing. He was planting the seed for his enjoyment for the evening. Brian knew how to manipulate. And despite his awkward appearance at times he was a master at it. Especially with Will. He knew just the right buttons to push. And he would. Each. And Every. One.

"You look less than pleased by this ride situation. Any particular reason why?" Yes he would play dumb or maybe the manager didn't even realize nor care. In his eyes he had done nothing wrong but live his life. To hell with the consequences that affected others. "Why ever would that be, hm?" If William had his guard up Brian had his completely down and was ready for a good round of play. More and more like his boys with every passing day. But Brian couldn't be all business all of the time. He wasn't a bloody robot though John might claim as such.

[WILLIAM MARTIN EDELMAN]

The hint was lost on Will because he was trying his hardest to look at anything other than Brian. But then the Beatles' manager made came right out and said it. Will took a moment to let that digest into his head. Of course Brian was free to do whatever he wanted to every night, including going to the theatre, but it was still rather uncomforting to find out that Brian had been a part of the audience tonight--that Brian could stare at him all that he wanted to and Will was none the wiser for it. It was like having a stalker, although Will was sure there had to be a more sosphisticated word for it when it came to someone like Brian Epstein.

Will smiled, half genuinely and half awkwardly, as his eyes momentarily strayed from the road to glance at Brian. "I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it," he said. Just because he wasn't comfortable it didn't mean he couldn't be polite. "Hamlet is that one Shakespearean role that every actor wants to play but, once you've done it, there's not many places you can go from there." It was the ultimate role; and every role after it seemed pale by comparison.

He never very well what Brian was doing to him right now. He wasn't going to let it work...not this time. Brian couldn't force him to admit that anything was wrong. Two could play this game of pretending to be ignorant of the situation. "Whatever gave you that impression?" he said, throwing a question right back at Brian. "Everything's fine. I'm just tired, that's all." He was determined to let Brian know that he really had matured over the past eight years, even though he had failed miserably trying to prove that point two weeks ago.

It was time to get this small talk--for Will was sure that Brian was going to keep on trying to make it--heading in a different direction. "I haven't seen you for awhile. Your band keeping you busy?" While others were going crazy over the Beatles, Will avoided them like they were the plague, thanks to who they reminded him of. He was sure they were a great and talented group of lads but this was one person that they were never going to turn into a fan.

[BRIAN SAMUEL EPSTEIN]

Though Brian Epstein presented himself in such a fashion that he was a business man devoid of feeling, you had to be in order to succeed in the cruel world (so Brian thought), he actually did occasionally feel bad. Well, not necessarily bad perhaps guilty. No, not that either. Attachment? No, that couldn't be it either. Attachment was a weakness. All of these feelings were and Brian could not be bothered with weaknesses that would hold him back. All of that said he did feel *something* he just couldn't put an exact name to it which was probably for the better because with a name on it he'd actually have to look more into it and wonder why he felt the way that he did. No, Brian simply could not be bothered with something like that.

"Very much so. Even better than the last. You've definitely found your calling Will. Good for you!." It never crossed Brian's mind, at least for longer than two seconds, that their last encounter (and their previous relationship, or lack thereof on Brian's part) had haunted Will in such a fashion that he was counting down the seconds until he could practically shove the manager out of his vehicle. Brian didn't ignore such feelings to be rude, he just couldn't process them. Afterall, how could someone be angry at him? He was adorable! Ugh, even inwardly he was sounding more and more like that dreaded Lennon every day. "Not one of my favorites of his but you definitely gave me something to enjoy." Oh yes, planting the seeds he was. In abundance.

Ah, now they were speaking about something that Brian was more than comfortable with. His meal ticket. His boys. His beloved band. "As always." His middle finger idly traced his own jawline and cheek as he stared out the front window of the vehicle watching the scenery in the dark pass them by. "Trying to refine them up a bit. Unfortunately only George is maluable enough to the idea. Could have Richard on my side for once being new and all but with John it's always difficult to get the boys to do anything. He tends to set the mood for the day with them." Even with hardworking Paul. Best friends indeed... Brian couldn't help but scoff some though he didn't explain to Will why. He felt no need to.

Etching his tongue over his teeth behind his lips he puffed his cheeks out for a moment before turning to look back at Will. He had felt his shoulders begin to tense at the mere thought of John and desired a distraction. As usual Will would be just that. "Say... When we get to my flat what do you say to coming up and giving them a hullo and how do you do?" He offered, seemingly harmless. Of course Brian knew what Will did not: The Beatles would not be in attendance. They had their own place of residence and were NEVER allowed in Brian's. They'd mussy it up!

"Well?"